How to Be a Better Partner: The 5 Love Languages & a Poem

 

Today, I'm sharing the five love languages because it's really helped me gain insight onto all sorts of relationships (not just romantic)! Relationships can be tricky sometimes and they are always a work in progress, they're a journey and they take work. But, I think these 5 love languages can really help take some mystery out of what you or your partner (and even other relationships) appreciate and feel loved by, most. I also share a very special poem at the end that I think you'll really like.

Today is a double-whammy! Monday & Thursday's blog post all in 1 baby. Let's first start with the love languages and then I'll share a very special poem that I personally have framed in my house in the foyer that I see every single time I enter or leave the house. 
 

the five love languages

Original website of the 5 love languages

Now, we all appreciate and feel loved by ALL 5 of these below, but 1 or 2 will definitely stand out to you and your partner as their primary love languages. Focus on those to begin with because, naturally you will be working on all 5 anyways throughout life as you go. Think of it as a pie chart. If to your partner, 80% of the pie is dedicated to acts of service, yet you're spending all your time and effort (because your personal love language is receiving gifts) in gift giving or planning surprises to your partner, it ain't going to far. You got me? If their primary love language is ... (fill in the blank) focus 80% of your time on that. I know it's natural for us to give in the way we feel most loved but understand that your partner isn't you. And you are't your partner. It's extremely rare to have the exact same love language as your primary love language as your partner, but even then, I can almost guarantee they take different forms.

And no, it's not contrived, it means you care to love your partner in the way they most feel loved and are putting their needs and wants above your own natural tendency. That is huge. And it will pay back tenfold. You have to give to receive and I don't know your personal situation but I know it can feel tough to give when you feel your bucket is empty. Just remember though, what you give is what you will get tenfold. It starts with you, so you begin the ripple effect and see how it grows! So, without further rambling, here are the 5 love languages ↴
 

1. Words of affirmation

Words mean a lot here, try giving out more compliments, texting your partner little things throughout the day, and letting them know how much you care, appreciate them and love them.


2. Acts of service

This is pretty self explanatory, try helping out more around the house, ask what you can do to help and do small favours here and there, it will go a long way!


3. Receiving gifts

Spend some time in giving out thoughtful gifts and put emphasis on special occasions that matter to your partner; plan surprises, be spontaneous and do little things that go above and beyond just traditional gift giving. 


4. Quality time

Give your partner your undivided attention and presence; if this is their love language, presence over presents, every single time! I mean, all people love presence and a good rule of thumb is presence over presents (unless your love language or your partners' is receiving gifts, but I'm guessing, even then they'll appreciate this one), but remember to take the time to really be all there and prioritize time spent together, alone, not just with groups. 


5. Physical touch

Need I say more? Jk! Physical touch can range so much! A simple hug, kiss on the cheek, laying your hand on their lap while they drive, or even just holding hands while in a line up tells your partner you're listening to their love language. 
 

Take the quiz

I highly recommend doing the quiz on the love languages website and getting your partner or a loved one to do it, as well! Very insightful and after you do it...it makes a whole lotta' sense as to why you feel so much more loved with certain things than others and why you feel maybe a bit empty when your partner does other things other than your top or top 2 love languages. Of course, there's no one size fits all relationships advice and relationship advice doesn't stop at figuring out your love language. It is, though, another helpful little tool you can add in and sure is a good start. All in all, it's good to know what your partner's love language is and what your own is, too.  If you act upon them, your relationships will strengthen, guaranteed. It's a really nice conversation to have, too because it shows the other person you truly care about loving them right and deepening the relationship and bond. 

A helpful little reminder ↴

 Love languages on the go! Screenshot, download or save this ♡ 

Love languages on the go! Screenshot, download or save this ♡ 

 

a very special poem
 

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry--go-round? 
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight? 
Or gazed at the sun of the fading night?

You'd better slow down. 
Don't dance so fast. 
Time is short. 
The music won't last. 

Do you run through each day
On the fly? 
When you ask How are you? 
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down. 
Don't dance so fast. 
Time is short. 
The music won't last. 

Ever told your child, 
We'll do it tomorrow? 
And in your haste, 
Not see his sorrow? 

Ever lost touch, 
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say hi.

You'd better slow down. 
Don't dance so fast. 
Time is short. 
The music won't last. 

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there. 
When you worry and hurry through your day, 
It is like an unopened gift.... 

Thrown away. 

Life is not a race. 

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

 


Author Unknown

 

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Sending you BIG love today & always! 

My whole heart, ♡

 

Hi! I'm Pooja,

A multi-passionate entrepreneur, coach and unwavering optimist committed to helping you become your best self yet.

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The Happiness Approach Podcast

Want inspo-on-the-go? Listen to the audio version of this blog post here ♡

In this podcast episode, I share with you a combined version of both my Monday & Thursday podcast. It covers the five love languages and how it can help strengthen your relationships in life, followed by a special poem at the end.



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