How to Know if a Goal is Right For You: Choosing Goals (Part 1/3 Goal Series)
A mega mistake people make is focusing on goal attainment without first putting in the deep mindwork it takes to figure out if that goal is even in alignment, first. The initial phase of goal setting in hashing out the ideas and really honing into whether it's right for you, your priorities and life is where you should spend most of your time. The other parts of goal setting are more procedural but the choosing of the goals properly could save you a lot of time, effort and even money.
Today's blog post is part of a 3 part goals series and is all about choosing goals and how to gain more clarity upon whether a goal is right for you or not.
In other words, working on alignment before you even get to the hustle! We all know we could be achieving goals all for the wrong reasons and the wrong goals. I truly believe anyone can really achieve anything with dedication, perseverance and the right strategies.
Now, before we get into it, I just want to say...if the only time you're thinking about goals is at New Year's or around New Year's time, you aren't even in the game yet! New Year's resolutions are great to get the ball rolling, but they are also extremely overrated and singled out to such a short period of time (which is why most people don't reach their goals). Goal setting is something that you should be doing quarterly, at least every three months. You should be going back to these things often and you must be thinking about your goals and strategizing them all year round. It's in the little things and daily habits of intention where the real magic happens.
We all know people can achieve anything if they have the right strategies, they have the passion, they have the dedication, and they had the drive to do that...but are you achieving the right things for yourself?
That's what's so important. There's tons of videos, blog posts and podcasts out there on goal achievement, how to achieve those goals that you've set out for yourself...but there isn't so much on their on how to choose goals or how to know whether a goal is right for you or not. Why not save a whole lot of time and effort in achieving the wrong things and get into clarity and alignment first?
We live in such a hustle culture, but a lot of the times people are hustling and they don't even know what they're hustling for. They're working really hard, but they don't know whether or not that goal they're achieving fits in with their life plan, with their priorities and with what they really truly want in life. So this is a big reminder and if you need a sign, this is it.
The big question
A little exercise that helps me is taking out a blank sheet of paper and writing out this 1 overarching question:
"Why do I want this?"
Then, answer that...and then ask, "Why do I want that?" etc etc. Keep doing it till you get to the bottom of it! It'll help you gain clarity and see it for yourself right in front of you on paper.
Mini 5 QUESTION Framework
If I'm unsure of whether a goal is right for me or not, these are the 5 questions I ask myself:
1. Does it help me grow? Always choose goals that have something to do with growth.
2. Is it in alignment with my overall life goals, my priorities, way of life or lifestyle?
3. Is it more fuelled by ego or by service?
4. Is it something that is sustainable or short-term? Will I be able to actually do this and fit it into my schedule to make it happen daily, weekly or monthly etc?
5. Is it something I would love to do, enjoy and truly be proud of? Is it intrinsically motivated at some deep level?
It's totally okay to do things that are necessary to get to your overarching goals that you don't like so much (but have to do because you know it fits into the big "why"), but don't choose goals that you dread and bring about negative emotions day in and day out. If something bothers you that much and you do it daily, you must either change how you perceive it, or change the situation and create a system or solutions for it.
However, for the most part, always remember, necessity > what comes easy to you. That's where the growth is. The reason this part of goal setting is so important is because it gets your base strong so that when you come across struggles in achieving it, you know your "why's" and that all the procedural stuff is for the big picture. Once you have the right reasons set out for yourself, it isn't such a mystery as to why you have to do what you have to do in order to get there! Therefore, any of the things you aren't overjoyed to do that's more monotonous, will still be a positive experience for you because you know it's necessary to get to where you really want to go.
Verbal vomit it all out!
Take black sheets of paper and write out everything to do with what you want to achieve and why, what comes along with it, who to reach out to in researching if it's right for you, your personal lifestyle etc. Write everything you can think of about that certain thing! Soon, you'll see themes and you can circle them in as your goals.
Check in with yourself
Ask yourself, every now and then..."Is this goal right for me and based on what I want, or is there some other factor influencing it?"
Envision your ideal self, life and day. Envision how it's going to feel when you reach your goals, not just what it looks like and envision the struggle too so that when it happens, it's like an old friend you've already visited in your head.
Everything I do is to help people design a life that feels right.
A note about SMART Goals
SMART goals are good, but they can sometimes be self-limiting. Don't choose goals based on your current situations or relevancy right now. Also, what is achievable is what we perceive as achievable. A lot can change in a year. Don't believe me? Just think about where you were at, last year at this exact time. Different, right?
Set your sights high. Dream big and set 10x goals, because regardless, you'll end up beyond what you would have if you set out a mediocre goal. Aim for excellence, not mediocracy. Ask yourself, "If I knew I couldn't fail, what would I want to achieve?"
“Choose excellence over mediocracy. We don't need more mediocracy in the World, and usually, the difference lies between having just a little bit more willpower, dedication and discipline in decision making, choices, the actions you choose to take and the thoughts you choose over others.”
THE 10 areas of life
Set goals in various areas of your life! Here are the 10 facets of life that I found when I researched it online, if you want, I'd recommend rating yourself out of 10 in each of these areas and focus on the low scores because usually that's where you need more accountability on. Feel free to add more or take away some to customize it for you!
1. Physical Health
2. Emotional Health
4. Your Environment
6. Social Relationships
7. Romantic Relationship
9. Personal Development/Self-Growth
Ps. there's a little note on "Purpose" that I think you'd love in the podcast episode at the end of the show. You can listen in on the right side of the page above to hear it.
“Purpose isn't going to show up at your door. It's simply what you imbue meaning into and find meaning in. Purpose can take on many shapes and forms and it's okay if you don't know what that is for you, yet. It's in experimenting with different things, exploring and figuring out what you enjoy doing where it'll lie.”
“Purpose is like finding your soulmate or life partner... right when you start doing what you love and stop putting so much pressure on yourself or paying attention to it, it comes into your life, naturally.”
What methods do you use in choosing goals? I'd love to know what questions you ask yourself! Share them in the comments below!
Sending you BIG love today & always!
My whole heart, ♡
The Happiness Approach Podcast
Want inspo-on-the-go? Listen to the audio version of this blog post here ♡
In this podcast episode, I share with you the first part in my 3 part goal series and it's all about how to first choose the right goals for you before you even think about the hustle or grind!
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Today's QT's: Quote-ables & Takeaways from today's podcast episode & blog ↴
“Alignment and intention must happen before the hustle or grind.”
“You've already been rewarded. It's in the journey where you reap the rewards, you just need to let it in.”
“People have huge BS detectors. Stay authentic and in alignment & all the other stuff will unfold. The Universe rewards courage.”
“Choose goals that are driven by service over ego, every single time.”
“If a goal isn't going to help you grow in some way, shape or form, choose a different goal.”
“Choose goals that are so big, you have to grow into the person you need to become in order to achieve them.”
“Dream big and set your sights high. 10x your goals. Ask yourself, "What would I want to achieve if I knew I could not fail?”