Why Focusing On Your Strengths May Be Holding You Back
A strength based approach is good, we should all be aware of our strengths and use them alongside our goals, for sure. But, focusing on our strenghts solely, may be what is holding you back. Sometimes, people don't even try at a dream, because they won't be using their strengths or it doesn't come easy to them. Asking a different question may be way more important here. Read below to know what that is!
just because you're good at it, doesn't mean it's right for you
My whole life, people have been trying to fit me into a mold of beauty, fashion, makeup, pageantry, modelling by a lot of people. And then, through others, I would make the perfect real estate agent, the best neuroscientist, the researcher, the...list goes on and on. The truth is, we can all be anything. But just because we're good at it or it uses our strengths, - doesn't mean it's our thing. It may be the opposite for you - place it in your own life. Maybe you're doing a business in healthcare, but you want to do makeup and create a fashion line! It's a feeling.
My passion is in helping people design a life that feels right for them. These things change throughout different seasons and times in our lives, but if it doesn't feel right for you, you gotta' re-assess and do the thing that is in alignment with you.
Don't just ask yourself "what are my strengths?"
Ask, "what is NECESSARY in getting to where I want to go?"
Those who are successful (the happy kind of success, not the stressed kind) see something they want to achieve and ask "what are the steps necessary in getting there?"
Most people ask "what are my strengths?" or "does this goal make use of my strengths?"
Strengths-based approaches are a tad out-dated in the sense that they solely focus on just that, strengths. If you really want something, you will do what's necessary.
Alignment before the hustle begins
And along with that, first you have to do the hard mental work of figuring out if the thing you actually want is in alignment before the hustle begins! Of course, you'll figure things our along the way of the hustle too, if it's for you or not - but, we live in such a hustle culture. Hustle harder, hustle big, hustle hustle hustle. I'm all about the hustle, but I'm about alignment first. Get in alignment and gain clarity in what it is you really want to do, first. Then, let the hustle begin.
These things may change and shift in life, too. And, that's totally normal and okay! But, if there's a dream you have (and I know you have one, because we all do), don't limit your potential and your greatness just because you've been taught to use your strengths. Just because you're good at something naturally or you shine bright at a various area, doesn't mean that's the thing for you. Only you know that. Do you boo! Don't let anybody else try to sway you from what you know inside. Just, take the time to listen in. You have all the answers.
Do what's necessary, not what's easy.
Alignment first, then let the hustle begin.
Necessity over strengths.
Strengths are important - and a big reason why I fell in love with Positive Psychology was for that very reason: the focus on strengths and human flourishing. More on that here. I even love the VIA Strengths survey, you can do yours for free, here. It's fun to see how my strengths change or if the order changes throughout the years and it's insightful too! Definitely check it out if you haven't yet.
I know it may not be popular to say that focusing on your strengths may be holding you back, but I mean that in a sense that it may be restricting you or limiting your potential. Imagine what you'd try or do if you took that mentality out of your thinking. The possibilities would be endless! Thinking necessity over strengths allows you the freedom to explore many passions and be as multi-passionate as you want, it gets you more in alignment and helps you determine, really, what's right for you and what feels right.
The sad truth is, a lot of people won't even try at a dream if it doesn't come easy to them, or if it entails building on their so called "weaknesses" rather than using their strengths.
Don't ever throw away a dream because you aren't using your strengths. You'll develop the things that are unknown to you and master them, too! That's how we grow.
What's your take on this? Comment below! Do you think necessity is more important than strengths or the other way around? I think they're both important, but I believe having necessity and increasing it within us tends to limit us less, gets us to where we want to go in a more resilient way and ensures growth.
Also, what's your take on this crazy hustle culture we're in right now?! Maybe alignment doesn't sound as sexy? But, I definitely think it needs to be focused on much before the hustle begins. Or at least, sometime during the hustle. Y'know?? Let me know what you think below!
Sending you BIG love today & always!
My whole heart, ♡
The Happiness Approach Podcast
Want inspo-on-the-go? Listen to the audio version of this blog post here ♡
In this podcast episode, I share with you why focusing on your strengths may be the one thing that's actually holding you back from achieving greatness, your dreams, aspirations and goals. Listen in if you want to know the question that we should be focusing on more than just what our strengths are!
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Today's QT's: Quote-ables & Takeaways from today's podcast episode & blog ↴
“Grow through what you go through.”
“Just because you're good at it, doesn't mean it's right for you.”
“Asking what is necessary is more important than asking what your strengths are.”
“Alignment before hustle.”
“Necessity > Strengths”